KEVIN COYNE LYRICS - M

Mad Boy (Kevin Coyne - 1972) (CASE HISTORY)

It's in his head, it's in his head (x4)

Fetch the doctor, the doctor will sort him out (x2)

Shout

Chorus: Mad boy (x4)

Can't make it any more.

It's in his brain, it's in his brain (x4)

Fetch the doctor, the doctor'll bring the van

Fetch the doctor now, the doctor is your man

Chorus

It's in his head, it's in his head (x4)

Fetch the doctor, the doctor's on the scene

Fetch the doctor, he will make it easy, nice and clean

Chorus

It's in his brain, it's in his brain (x4)

Fetch the doctor, the doctor's gone away

Fetch the doctor, see you again another day, boy, mad

Mad boy (x4)

Can't hope any more, any more, any more, any more

He's in the van, he's in the van

He's in the van, he's with the man

He's in the van, he's in the van

He's in the van, he's with the man

Fetch the doctor, the doctor's done his job

Put him out to grass in the park

Put him out, no more trouble, no more difficulty with his mother, nothing more to say but

Mad boy (x4)

He can't make it any more, any more, any more, any more


Mad Boy no.2 (Kevin Coyne/Brian Godding - 1980) (BURSTING BUBBLES )

There's a rainbow over my shoulder

The skies a bloody red

They're fighting in the wardobes

Fighting under beds

They're wearing silly masks

And they're standing upside down

They all think that they are kings and queens

They all have got their crowns

But I want to tell you

I don't feel out of place

I've been watching you for oh so long

You're just the human race (x5)

You tell that you love me

You tell me that I'm right

But you won't admit your pain

Your screaming in the night

But now there's no inclusion of anything that's light

I can see your heavy load, it's burning up the night

You're just the human race (x5)

Now some are given tasks, some are given jobs

Some are given things to do

They give them all to me

But I'm not prepared anymore to take this heavy thing

You can learn to fly ourselves

You've got the bloody wings

You're just the human race (x3)

I don't feel out of place

You're just the human race


Magdalen (Kevin Coyne/Nick Cudworth - 1970) (THE CLUB RONDO)

The sky was red in the evening

All the doors were locked and barred

I stood up watching your window babe

But you were gone afar

I wondered why Magdalen

You didn't try Magdalen

To even love me or care

The village heard my lonesome moaning

And faces peared from every home

A pity showed upon those faces

That there's another boy alone

I sat down on your door step

Dreaming Magdalen

All your black hair and your name

I walked a long way to the pasture

A thick grass wilting in the sun

Gazing hopeless for your image baby

Wanting to free myself and run

I laid down in the grass there

I wen to sleep and I

I drifted to my Magdalen

Desire has been my misfortune

The beauty ?? has been my wip

Avoid that light that comes from Magdalen

She's the siren sinking ships

Now I see the chalice

Now I see the beacon

See the ?? a lonely man

The sky was red in the evening

All the doors were locked and barred

I stood up watching your window babe

But you were gone afar

I wondered why Magdalen

You didn't try Magdalen

To even love me or care

I wondered why Magdalen (x2)


Magnolia Street (Kevin Coyne/Steve Bull - 1982) (PØLITICZ)

It's an understatement, perfect lie

To state you live after you die

I'm looking in Magnolia Street

Lines of windows, people on their feet

Dancing suburban disco

Alien beings bouncing up and down

Not a single line of thought, 'bout the truth seems to pass through their heads

At this club

Call it Magnolia, Magnolia Street, dancing to the beat, on Magnolia Street, dancing

Well the final conclusion, we're all wrong, I don't suppose you'll listen to this song

Because I'm deaf and you made me blind

Magnolia Street is on my mind

Magnolia Street, dance to the beat (x2)

Magnolia Street, try to be optimistic, try

You could die on Magnolia Street

Hear the beat (x2)

We're down at the club, the Universal Club

Have a good time (x4)

Clap your hands

Have a good time (fade)


Mandy Lee (Kevin Coyne/Dave Clague - 1971) (single)

Mandy Lee, Mandy Lee, chills rolling down my frame (x2)

Won't you come on home, love me all over again

Mandy Lee, Mandy Lee, you're turning my heart aflame (x2)

You got me hot, sick and weary cause you won't call my name

Oh Mandy Lee, Mandy Lee, baby I'm sick inside (x2)

You took a Northbound train and you didn't say goodbye

Oh yeah come on, oh that's good, oh come on, one more time, oh that's good

Mandy Lee, Mandy Lee, I'm crawling all over the floor (x2)

Oh I'm so tired baby, you don't love me no more

Mandy Lee, Mandy Lee, tear rolling down my frame (x2)

Won't you come on home


Maria Callas Got the Blues (Kevin Coyne/Achim Goettert - 1999) (OPERA FOR SYD, DREIEINIGKEITSKIRCHE)

I took a train to Eastbourne

I went to ?? too

I was looking for some sand dunes

And all I saw was you

I was looking for a tea shop

Old England by the sea

All I heard was your howling

And the pain it bothered me

Lot of people don't understand

Although she got money

Maria Callas got the blues

Most nights she would leave the opera house

In a little Fiat car

Forgetting everything

That she was a super star

She would walk down by the beach

Looking for some love

But all she got was the darkness

No lights from heaven above

If I had to choose

I'd get those Maria Callas blues

I've got those blues

Take me to the opera house, please

Reach it, touch it

I like it, more more more

Smash the chandeliers, come come come, give me some power Maria

What do you want with me?

David Moss: I want you to dance

Kevin Coyne: I don't go to dance tonight

DM: I want you to fucking dance

KC: I haven't got the magic shoes, they're at home

DM: oh man, the magic, the magic, the magic, magical

KC: Maria, Maria in a little Fiat car driving around the streets of Milan looking for love, driving around Milano, looking for lovo, no love for Maria

Seems kind of sad

She wasn't so bad

She got the blues

You have the same, the same problem with your trousers as I do. Look at your trousers. You have the same problem as I do. We almost have the same legs. Strange isn't it? We're almost like brothers now

DM: He's my brother

KC: And I'm the ghost of Louis Amstrong

DM: Took thirty years to find him. Wir sind zusahmen in Nurnberg. My brother


Marigold (Kevin Coyne - 1979) (MILLIONAIRES AND TEDDY BEARS)

Marigold was dreaming about somebody

About a fight that she'd almost won with her man

Marigold was dreaming about a punch-up

About a scrawny-kneed fight on the kitchen floor

Marigold was dreaming over the stewpot

Holding forth imaginary blows and scars

Marigold was dreaming, she wasn't screaming

Her high-heeled foot was pressed upon the chest of a man

All men are fools she said and most of them would be better if they were dead

I wish they'd all get out of my well-permed head and leave women to rule the world, leave it to the girls

Marigold was dreaming she was creaming a big cream cake, she'd baked the cake to throw it at me

Marigold was dreaming she was a cat with claws so sharp they tore my skull away and most of the hair

Yes Marigold was dreaming, old old dreaming, she was richer than anybody could ever see and she trod on me with her riches

Marigold was dreaming she was leaping across a ravine on a horse made out of gold

Silly now to think that she never knew nothing

That she wanted to be my best friend

She said she was almost my best friend

But there was a girl called Julie or somebody somewhere far away

Who she knew who knew more than me and therefore would be a better friend in the end for her she said she knew anyway that most of what I said I'd got out of books and I didn't know what she was doing and that women were about to take over the world

I said, "Marigold, you're dreaming"


Marilyn (Kevin Coyne/Dave Clague - 1971?) (RABBITS)

Well, once you said you loved me

Once we had some fun

Now you've gone with a funny man

Put my love on the run

Once you said you needed

All my hearts desire

Now you've got some water

You pull out the fire

Chorus: Oh oh oh my Marilyn (x3).

Once you said you loved me

??

Now you don't love me

Your love's starting to fail

What you're doing to me babe

I do not understand

I thought Marilyn

I was your man

Chorus

I know I'm not a leader

I know I'll always be last

I want to forget ??

I want to forget the past

We had a little good loving

I thought it was all for me

Come on baby Marilyn

Come on and set me free

Chorus

(Take it down, down we go, alright)

Well I'm working all night for you babe

Trying to get through to you

You don't care about me

Don't care what you do

I need you baby Marilyn

You know that I do

Come on my darling

Come on and be true

Chorus

My Marilyn, baby Marilyn, need you Marilyn, oh Marily

I need you baby (repeat)


Marjory Razorblade (Kevin Coyne - 1973) (MARJORY RAZORBLADE)

Marjory Razorblade is as keen and sharp as can be

Will always settle my problems for me

She will sort out all my dusty neighbours

Cut a swatch right through their undignified ways

And if they talk about me behind my back

She will not play their game, she will not play that game, she will not play their game

Oh, Marjory Razorblade oh what a picture she made

In her long and her fusty dress and her hair that she plaited best

Oh what a woman, what a tongue, what an abrasive manner

And if anyone upsets me, they will regret it, they will regret it

Oh she's mine though she's over fifty-nine

She's experience of the world far beyond my years

Oh mother me Marjory oh Razorblade

Mother me Marjory oh Razorblade


Marjory Razorblade Suite (Kevin Coyne - 1974) (V sampler)

That girl is just eleven, she's hardly been born

That girl is just eleven, she's hardly been worn

She's sticking out a little here, sticking out a little there (x2)

Now that girl is fourteen, getting older everyday (x2)

Giving her life away (x4)

Now that girl is eighteen, walking down the aisle (x2)

Mother approves, sister approves, father approves, you approve, you approve

Now that girl is twenty-one, you know she's married now (x2)

Little bowed thighs, stitched up fly's, telling lies, nobody cries

Now that girl is twenty-four, there's lot of fish to fry

Now that girl is twenty-four, washing on the line

Socks up there, underwear, shoes to clean, what happened to her teenage dream?

Marjory Razorblade oh what a picture she made

In her long and her fusty dress and her hair that she plaited best

Oh what a woman, what a tongue, what an abrasive manner

And if anyone upsets me, they will regret it

Oh she's mine though she's over fifty-nine

She's experience of the world far beyond my years

Oh mother me Marjory Razorblade (repeat)

It happens all the time (repeat)

It happened to you, it happened to me, it happened to him, it happened to you

Mother me Marjory Razorblade (repeat)

Bonus lyrics on the "In Living Black & White" version by Hans Hartgers:
Now that girl is 18, Getting a little style (x2)
Little pink shoes - cardboard new, Monday blues Whose to choose ? (x2) Hey!
After that the next verse is '
girl 21, walking down the aisle' The 'you know she's married' part is left out.


Marlene (Kevin Coyne - 1973) (MARJORY RAZORBLADE)

Girl of my dream, Marlene, you know who I mean,

Marlene you're just a dream, woah Marlene, you let me come in, let me come in

Cos you're there every night, Marlene, you are just right, Marlene

And I turn on my light, woah Marlene, you let me come in, let me come in

Paper is torn, Marlene, paper is warm, Marlene

And I'm just a boy [or is it 'And I've just been born' ?], Marlene

You let me come in, let me come in

Chorus: I say hey, hey pretty girl hey

Turn off my light, Marlene you're just as bright, Marlene

Come here tonight, Marlene, why don't you let it come in, let it come in

Chorus

Paper is torn, Marlene, magazine's worn, phone's off the wall, Marlene

Why don't you let me come in, let me come in

Powdered paint, Marlene, paper on the wall, Marlene, I'm having a ball, Marlene

You won't let me come in, let me come in ! Yeah

Guitar tab for that one (this is a Word file)


Married (Kevin Coyne - 1995) (CRAZY FRANK)

Let's get married, let's get hooked

Why don't we do it perfectly like they do in books?

We could be so happy, a good little pair together, little birds upon a tree, singing away so merrily

So let's get married, let's get hooked, why don't we do it perfectly like they do in books?

We could join together, blend into the scenery

There'd only be one little world and that world would be for you and me

Do we want any children? Do we need any children? (x2)

Le't s get married, they say that's the thing to do

Let's get married, its for me and you

We can close the world off outside in our little home,

We'd always have each other, we could get stoned alone

Let's get married, maybe its not such a good idea?

Let's get married, some of our friends say its not such a good idea

But I think we're going to try it, I think we're going to buy it

We can fit naturally, there'll always be people like you and me


Married Woman (Kevin Coyne/Dave Clague/Nick Cudworth - 1969-70) (LET'S DO IT)

Alright, here she goes, way she goes, alright

Well a married woman goes from hand to hand (x2)

She can't get it from a horseman, she gets it from another man

When she comes home each night just about twelve o'clock (x2)

Well if her husband saw her, ooh he'd get a shock

I don't blame you married woman, you get it when you can (x2)

You cannot get it from your husband, you get it from another man

Alright, she's a married woman, goes from hand to hand, alright, here I go

Well a married woman, you can't put her down (x2)

She won't stand no fooling, no fooling around

She gets home each night just about twelve o'clock (x2)

Her husband saw her, man he'd get a shock

Married woman goes from hand to hand (x2) yes she does

She can't get it from her husband, she gets it from another man


Martha & Arthur (Kevin Coyne/Brendan Croker - 2002) (LIFE IS ALMOST WONDERFUL)

This is the story of Martha and Arthur who lived in the North of England in the grey empty fifties when nothing much happened anywhere

Little Martha , little Artur lived in a dull dark house, a parrot for company and their mother too

Their father was dead, he died in the World War II

They were happy, they were sad, they were happy, sometimes mad

When Bill Haley he came on their scene

He started rock'n'roll, Martha became a queen

Down the Trocadero, every Saturday night, Martha and Arthur dancing away

To the big beat, the roaring sound

Oh, the spirit of rock'n'roll lifted them off that ground, up they went

Up to Heaven, up to Heaven, flying high just like angels

They scattered their love everywhere

They got children now, they're lucky, they're lucky

Little Martha , little Artur, grooving down the bar, over sixty

Feet twinkling, bringing up the dust

Get some rock'n'roll in your life, rock'n'roll is must

You got to do it

Rock'n'roll in your life, it's must

Jump and shout and dance

Come on raise that dust


Memory Lane [Memory Lane part 12 or part 95 or whatever number...] (Kevin Coyne - 1980) (BRU)

Nobody's too old to fall in love

I rememeber when we first met

You were the teacher's pet

Loved and adored by everyone

You decided to take me home

Oh, oh what joy

Council house, girl and boy

Happiness forever more

Love came knocking at my door

A ?? and a pony tail

My heart ?? on your trail

I know I'll always will persue

You rocking rythm, your beautiful blues

Oh honey, what am I to do?

I'm so in love with you

Endlessly is what I get

Love me darling and you'll bet that

A late bus, saturday night

Some of my friends come into a fight

I was cowering on the back seat

With Jacky Wilson's Reet Petite

Little Richard was my mate

He taught me how to sing and understand

Chuck Berry bopping the stroll

Let the guitar ball, let it roll

Let it roll (repeat)

You're never too late to fall in love

You can laugh at anybody, the light that you can get, you know it will you get you in the end

Take it from a romantic fool

Love can be cruel

It can break your heart

?? any relations

??

Let it (repeat)

Let it roll (repeat)

It's in your soul (repeat)


Millionaires Song (The) (Kevin Coyne - 1988) (EVERYBODY'S NAKED)

Everybody jump for joy

I'm my mother's pride and joy

Sitting here with the millionaires

A long cool drink by my side

Here comes my blushing bride

Sitting here with the millionaires

Chorus:

I've done well for a working class boy, everybody knows

Look at my hair, look at my shoes, look at my fancy clothes, look at my fancy clothes.

I'm sailing on the sea

Everybody's waving at me

Sitting here with the millionaires

I arrived by a big jet plane

Everybody knows my name

Sitting here with the millionaires

Chorus

I've left the factory behind

I've found money and peace of mind

Sitting here with the millionaires

Come on waiter, over here

Bring me an ice and.another long beer

Sitting here with the millionaires

Chorus - Solo - Chorus

My mother's coming out to see me tonight. She's coming out on a big jet plane and she's bringing more money. We've made so much money these last few years and my wife is very happy. lt's marvellous to be rich. I never want to be working class again. Oh I'm so happy with all this money, look at these millionaires, they all love me, they're all smiling at me. Happy happy boy. No more dirty factories for me. Oh I'm so happy. What a wonderful live we're living... So nice there by the Mediterranean... marvelous, wonderful, beautiful...


Miner's Song (the) (Kevin Coyne - 1974) (PEEL SESSIONS )

Ever seen the miner, he's got the bleeding legs (x2)

A little black and white dog that just sits up and begs, and begs

He's got a big tin bag that streches from here to here

Big tin bag that streches from here to here

Never fillsit full of soappy water, only fills it full of bear

Sits at the bus stop, squats at the bus stop (x2)

Squats at the bus stop with his clean and white ??

He's a ?? man

Catches a number 9, here it comes, the number 9, catch it

Oh I'm gonna do some fighting, oh I'll fight the lot ot you

Come here! I'm gonna fight, hold me back, I'm gonna fight them, oh I'll fight the lot ot you

Ever seen the miner, he's got the bleeding legs (x2)

A little fat wife that just sits up and begs, begs

Don't hit me Jim, don't smack me Jim, don't hit me Jim, don't smack me Jim

She knows, I know, she's got to seize her handbag

He's the man who has those bleeding legs

Oh we'll tell them once again

He's got the legs, the bleeding legs

Coal dust, bleeding legs, ooh he's soatty, he's a mighty man, mighty man

Can't fight his friends, they're too big, he's got to smack his mum and dad and everybody who's young and old


Missing You (Kevin Coyne/Michael Lipton - 2002) (CARNIVAL)

In the palace of a fool, there' s a million smiles

Lots of mirrors to catch everyone

Out in the garden there's a funny owl

And a little boy that sucks his thumb

On the kitchen table, there's an ice cream cake

A thing she loved to eat

Chorus: All he knows is he's missing you (x2).

Remembers every little detail of everything you used to do, he can't forget a thing

Out on the strange roadway, there's a strange little car

A madman at the wheel

Heading for the coastline, he's obsessed

Life gave him a, gave him a raw deal

Chorus

Can't forget any little thing that we used to do, no he can't forget a thing

Chorus

Every little detail of every little thing you used to do, he can't forget a thing (x3), missing you (x3)

All he knows is he's missing you


Mona Where's My Trousers (Kevin Coyne - 1975) (BEAUTIFUL EXTREMES, SIGN OF THE TIMES)

Mona, where's me trousers, they're right upstairs

Mona, where's me trousers, they're right upstairs

Under the meat safe there's a place

Where your father keeps his face

He gives it lots of steam and heat

But on a Saturday night his face is in his feet

Mona, where's me trousers, they're upstairs

Mona, where's me trousers, they're upstairs

La la la la who's that singing that song?

La la la la he must be barmy or something

La la la la your father's gone away

La la la la he's gone away on a ship, he's gone away on a ship

Mona, where's me trousers, they're right upstairs

Mona, where's me trousers, they're right upstairs

They're right upstairs

They're right upstairs

And now Denis is going to school now

And his face is just the same as his Dad's

His face is angry and bitter

When he hides it under the fridge

But on a Saturday night he's different

When he's had beer, he's had beer

La la la la who's that singing that song?

La la la la who's that singing that song?

La la la la he must be barmy, he's gone wrong

La la la la who's that singing that song?

It did'nt really matter because he didn't really mean to hurt me, he didn't mean to upset me, I mean, when he smacked me, it was quite... it was quite alright because that's his right, really, he is my father and he didn't really mean to hurt me but it was when he took me outside and he took me wellingtons off my wellingtons, he took my wellies off and then he took my shoes and threw 'em in the garden and then I felt ever so unhappy but there was really no point in crying because when I cry he just laughs at me and well, after some time, I do lie sometimes, I know but anyway I went to school and Miss Baxter, Miss Baxter said I was being a good boy and that I did'nt deserve to be punished but there you are, I did'nt deserve to be punished but anyway I did'nt mean to loose that coat, no I... I left it in the cloak room, it was there when I left but afterwards it seems to have gone, it was a new, it was a new duffle coat and I went down... I went down by the docks and I was, I was watching this man in a rowing boat and the boat was sinking, and the boat was sinking and then there was this silly man who kept calling me names, he took away me sweets cause I spend four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, four pence on sweets, that's a lot of money but then again I did'nt mean to do it and he smacked me, he smacked me like... he smacked me, he smacked me, I did'nt mean to do it, I did'nt, I did'nt mean to do it, I did'nt mean to do it, I'm sorry Dad, I did'nt mean to do it, sorry Dad, Im' sorry, I did'nt mean to do it, I'm sorry, did'nt mean to do it, did'nt mean to do it, did'nt mean to do it


Money (poem) (Kevin Coyne - 1969-70) (LET'S DO IT)

Oh money, just rolling by, 4-wheel in style, silver plates and squeaking seats

Oh money, oh money, oh money honey

You know I've seen you just speeding by

Painting your eyes and curling your curls for me babe

With money babe, oh money babe, oh money, money, money

Oh money, with castles and crips and hotels and chips

And eyelashes and lips and telephone ringing

And money babe, and money babe

Oh money, let me see it and feel it and count it and watch it butterfly

Into my great big mind full of money babe

Money babe, oh money money money money money money money

You know I want your money

And your teeth and your great ringing carpet

With a silk and a powder and the polish and the maid and the money

And the money babe, and the money babe

Gonna get it, hold tight (x4)


Money Machine (Kevin Coyne - 1984) (LEGLESS IN MANILLA)

The money machine grinds on an on

Everybody's go to have a little fun

The money machine is the only one

The money machine grinds on and on, on and on, on and on, on and on

Everybody says they've got a hole somewhere

Pearly gates that they don't want to share

Big money balls bouncing from the sky

The money machine is the only lie, the only lie, the only lie, the only lie

The money machine it laughs at you

Big red lips, it can't tell you the truth

It likes to tell you what it's going to do

But you never know what on earth it's going to do, it's going to do, it's going to do, it's going to do

The money machine is black and gold

Green and white and very old

The money machine is warm and cold (x2) warm and cold, warm and cold

The money machine it cries at you

It calls you a Black and it calls you a Jew

It calls you anything that you want it too (x2) you want it too, you want it too

Money money money money money machine (x8)


Monkey Man (The) (Kevin Coyne - 1980) (SANITY STOMP)

I'd seen you in a suburban bar, North London ?? I said no no no no no

You said you know, you know-it-all, let's get together, let's have a bal, I said no no no no no, I said

I'm not your monkey man, don't you understand?

All I need is your loving hand, why don't you understand?

She said ho ho ho ho ho? (x2)

I said I've been here a million times before, she said if you say that again you'll be on the floor, she said no no no no no

She said you think you're smart, I said don't you mess with my broken heart, she said no no no no no

I'm not your monkey man, does any woman really understand?

I'm not your monkey man, all I need is your loving hand

She said ho ho ho ho ho she was surprised ho ho ho ho ho

She was so surprised

I'm not your monkey man, why don't you understand?

All I need is a loving hand, do you really understand?

She said no no no no no it's always the same she said no no no no no

It's always the same she said no no no no no

They never understand she said no no no no no (x3)

She said now go go go go go


Monkeyheart (Kevin Coyne - 2002) (ONE DAY IN CHICAGO)

Why do you monkey, why do you monkey with my heart? (x2)

I used to wake up like a babyboy and sing like a lark (x2)

And why, I’m asking why do you monkey with my heart?

I’m asking why do you monkey with my heart?

I used to smile in the park on a Sunday afternoon

But now all I get is rain and misery and gloom

I’m asking why do you monkey with my heart?

Well the sea it looks inviting to me

Oh the deep grey sea now it looks inviting to me

I might jump in, I might cover myself with water

Cause I can’t face the little girl I used to know has become the devil’s daughter

I’m asking why do you monkey with my heart?

I’m asking why why why why do you monkey with my heart?

I used to wake like a little babyboy and sing like a lark

I used to wake up like a babyboy and sing like a lark

That’s all gone

I don’t think I can carry on

I’ve got to stop

All of this pain

Yes you monkey with my heart (x2)

Stop monkying with my heart

Yes you monkey with my hear


Monkey with your Funky (Ali Neander/Kevin Coyne - 1996) (KNOCKING ON YOUR BRAIN)

Sugar plum duchess, well, she lives across the road with a big red mouth and teeth that glint, they glint and glow

She's winking at me late Saturday night, her boy friend's lurking somewhere behind and he's looking for a fight, looking for a fight

I want to monkey with your funky, monkey funky, monkey with your funky, funky all day long, all day long

Way down on the avenue where the oak trees sway perambulator's perambulating, rolling on their way

Lines of married women, doing nothing much at all. Is that really your future? Can't you hear me when I call?

I want to monkey with your funky, monkey funky, monkey with your funky, funky all day long

I want to monkey with your funky, funky funky, monkey with your funky, funky all day long

Well you're staring at your future and now you're married, you should have stayed with me baby but now you're harried

You've got to cook, cook, cook, sow, sow, sow, clean and wash all his filthy clothes

Nowhere to go, nowhere to go, you should have stayed with me and...

Monkey funky funky, funky funky, monkey funky funky, funky all day long, all day long and nighttime too, all day long

You never listened to my advice, now I can see you walking to the supermarket almost everyday

You made a big mistake, you could have lived the high life with me baby, but it's too late, far too late


Money Like Water (Kevin Coyne/Jon Langford - 2002) (ONE DAY IN CHICAGO)

Chorus:

Money like water through my hands it flows (x2)

I’ve seen it coming and I have seen it go (x3)

Money like water through my hands it flows

Piles of dollar bills never cured anybody’s ills. In fact it probably made them worse. A little poverty is good for the soul you know. It makes you less of a, well less of a difficult person to live with. You’re sweet and easy with no money, in fact you’re starving, that’s ridiculous as well. Anyway, too much money, as this song plainly tells you, it can flow through your hands and leave you pennyless, whatever that means. Pennyless? I’m not pennyless. I’m happy!

Chorus

Wardrobes of well-polished shoes does not cure anybody’s blues. Suits and shirts you never wear, a garden with flowers the size of Amazonian forests grown to ridiculous heights, bawls of flowers in every room, fifty-five Jaguar cars in the garage, Rolls-Royces, even old Studdebackers, all stacked up all around the house, no need to drive them, I can’t drive, it’s a non-sense me having all this money, let it flow through my hands

Chorus

Aimless, stupid, witless, that’s what I’ve become. I had far too much money and now I’m, well they could call me a ?? I really don’t think very much at all, in fact I whis I was a scorpion or something, some small insect crawling under somebody’s bed, something to be squashed under a shoe. Money like water? Oh let it flow!

Chorus

Well that’s the story, not much more else to tell. Sufficient to say I’m pretty pennyless now and I’m living in a very small bungalow about five miles from the sea. I haven’t got shoes on a winter day, I have to walk around in my stockinged feet. Let’s face it: I’m really poor! But I don’t care! I don’t care! (x3) I’ve got no money but I just don’t care!

Money like water through my hands it flows (x2)

I’ve seen it coming and I have seen it go (x3)

Money like water through my hands it flows (x2)

I’ve seen it coming and I have seen it go (x2)


Moon Face (Kevin Coyne - 1994) (ZUNDFUNK)

Every time I think of you

All my love comes tumbling through

With your, with your moonface and your big brown eyes

Yes evertyime I go to bed at night

Close my eyes and see a light sparkling white

And then your big moonface and those big brown eyes

And if I get lonely and I get sad

I feel my head spinning and get a little mad

I come down with your big moonface and those big brown eyes

Because that's the only way I can get through the

Only way I can get through the

That's the only way I can get through the day

So when I'm weeping and moaning

Self complaining, self pitying

That's normaly me when it gets hot like this

I think of your moonface and your big brown eyes

And when I think of home, of London, all alone

Smoke stacks burning, my heart's churning

I'm sentimal for your moonface and your big brown eyes

And so time after time after time after time

I'll tell you I love you and I hope you're mine

With your moonface and those big brown eyes

That's the only way I can get

Yes the only way sometimes I can get

Yes that's the only way I can get through this day


Moon Madness (Friedl Pohrer/Kevin Coyne - 1995) (CRAZY FRANK)

I've a got a touch of moon madness, looking for light, a touch of gladness

I'm waiting in this hotel room, I'm wishing, I'm praying, I'm screaming for a change, I'm wishing, I'm praying for a change

I've got a touch of moon madness, hotel room and much sadness

I'm looking for a new light, I'm wishing, I'm praying, sometimes screaming, looking for a change, a change

I'm looking, I'm praying for a change, I need a change, I'm looking, looking for a change

I see a sparrow by my window bleeding, screaming, wailing out

I can see the ice and snow, he's slipping, he knows what life's about

I've got a touch of moon madness, looking for light, looking for gladness, I'm looking, looking for a change

I'm looking, I'm praying, I was singing, give me a change, a change, I need a change

I'm looking, I'm praying for a change

Moon madness

I'm praying for a change, I need a change (x2)


More Than Enough (RobertCoyne/Kevin Coyne - 1999) (ROOM FULL OF FOOLS)

My diary, Brigton, March, 1987:

I hear the rattling teacups, see your face across the chequered tablecloth, you stare, you stare for hours looking at me disapprovingly, and then you pick up the teaspoon, flick some tea in the direction of my pink nose, my rose nose, you treat my like a fool, are we both cracking up? Or is it me? Is it you? Is it me or is it you? Is it you? Is it me or is it you?

I've had more than enough (x8) of you

When we get on a bus together you insist you bring your little white dog that pisses on somebody's shoe on the top deck of the bus and then you turn round and blame the man next to me you say, "Why don't you keep yourself under control, all men are dangerous, all men are dangerous, all men are very dangerous, extremly dangerous and I include you in that list of notorieties, notorieties"

I've had more than enough (x8) of that

One of us got to go, one of us got to leave, we can't go on like this

This is causing me to wonder about my sanity, do strange things, draw the curtains during the daytime, shut out the light, I don't want to see the sea, the heaving grey sea, the sand, those awful people running around in silly suits, pink hats, noses, that's what I'm obsessed with tonight, diary, noses, I'm always talking about rosy nosy, rosy nosy

Oh I'm gone

I've had more than enough (x6) of that, of that

Diary ends for today, tomorrow might be the same. Who can tell? But anyway, I'll do my very best to remain at least on terms with the human race, in a reasonable sense, I might keep a reasonnable sense of things, I might keep things in proportion, I'm not really sure but as I say, diary, tomorrow, I hope we'll have a better day, oh I don't know, I've had enough, I don't know, I've had enough, I don't know, I've had more than enough

More than enough, more than enough

More than enough but I'm celebrating you know, the future looks good, I get this strange feeling it might all come together and ?? at the mouth with it all

(The second - spoken - part is really too low in the mix to be written down except for he last sentence: But I'm celebrating, making a fool of myself, everybody laughing at me, pointing to me, saying, "He's the one she used to know)


Mother, Where are you Now? (Kevin Coyne - 1976) (CHASING RAINBOWS )

Are you blind? Can't you see?

?? that's hanging over me

Will someone reach out their hand

Someone to understand

Chorus: Mother, where are you now? (x2)

I can't sleep, I take pills

Dream of ?? dafodils

My doctor can't help me

Can't you see?

No-one knows what's wrong with me

Chorus


Mr. Pinko (Ali Neander/Kevin Coyne - 1996) (KNOCKING ON YOUR BRAIN)

Sitting on the platform, wearing your pink rosette

Your teeth are twinkling, shining, hair as black as jet

Your little wife she's perfect, standing by your side

Taking a nation, a nation for a ride, for a ride

Chorus: Mr. Pinko, compromise, Mr. Pinko. Mr. Pinko, compromise

Your perfect house has a perfect garden too

Children's bedrooms painted a pastel blue

They sit at breakfast smiling, smiling all the time

They've been indoctrinated, you've changed their minds

Chorus

What is the future? Where can we go?

There seems to be nothing, nothing, nothing

But idle times, idle minds, wandering from town to town

A great desert with weeds, a great desert, a great desert

Chorus (x2)

I see a garden where nothing grows, a wasted landscape, an empty river, a few scattered people like mice in the sun

A few scattered people running like mice in the sun, there's no fire, no fire, nothing burns, no fire, no desire, nothing burns, we're like mice in the sun (x2)


Mr. President (Kevin Coyne - 2004) (UNDERGROUND)

Mr President is talking (repeat)

Mr President is talking. Everyone must hear. (3 x)
Mr President is talking and the message is very clear.

It’s as clear as mud. (7 x)
Yes it’s as clear as mud.

Mr President is talking. Everyone must hear. (4 x)

Everyone must hear (3 x)

Mumbo jumbo jumba lumba lumba
Jumba lumba lumba jumba mumba jumba
Jumba lumba lumba jumba lumba jumba jumba mumba lumba jumba
Lumba lumba jumba jumba jumba. Nonsense.
Mumba lumba jumba lumba lumba jumba jumba lumba jumba.

It’s nonsense he’s talking (3 x)
What’s that rubbish he’s talking?
It’s rubbish he’s talking.
It’s nonsense he’s talking.
It’s nonsense he’s talking.
It’s rubbish he’s talking.
Rubbish. Rubbish. Rubbish. Rubbish. Rubbish. Rubbish.

Mr President is talking. Everyone must hear. (3 x)

Mr President is talking
What’s he talking about? (3 x)


Mr President (poem) (Kevin Coyne - 1969-70) (LET'S DO IT)

Hello Mr President

I want to snatch your hand then eat it

I need to push your thin wife off the cliff

Will you invite me to supper tonight?

I imagine that your head is roomier than those air ?? and has a boudoir for a brain

Am I right Mr President?

Hello Mr President

I need to drive my car into your mouth

I want to find a shortcut to the top

Can you help Mr President?

Mr President, will you help me cure the common call

And help me fight this cancer?

Will you stand on the corner with these leaflets?

Hello Mr President

Can I snatch your hand then eat it?

Can I push your thin wife off the cliff?

Will you invite me to supper tonight?


Mrs Hooley Go Home (Kevin Coyne - 1975) (MATCHING HEAD AND FEET)

Now Mad Irish Mick owns himself a wife

He complains in the public house she's the plague of his life

I've seen her at the jumble sale sorting through the rags

If I could see into their hoouse, I'd see the dregs and the cracks

Chorus: Mrs Hooley go home (x3), go right back to Ireland.

Mad Irish Mick, he smiles from behind the edge

He promised the policeman he'd taken the pledge

No more drinking, no more beating your wife

But he still says he loves her for all her life (he's a liar)

Chorus

Hooley is a cruelly (repeat)

The Robinsons now they live at No. 9

And their scraggy children point the finger all the time

I hate their children, I hate what they do

But I love Mrs Hooley, I love her, yes I do (she's from Ireland)

Chorus

Bye bye Mrs Hooley, I hope you'll go

It's much freer in Ireland, don't you know

Think about the culture and the men you died

And the Robinsons won't help you at No. 9 (go home)

Chorus

Bye bye Mrs Hooley, go home (repeat)


Mummy (Kevin Coyne - 1973) (MARJORY RAZORBLADE) (see also Daddy)

Daddy let the dogs of war out, let them bite me now (x3)

Set them out to chew, oh to chew, all my boots and shoes

Daddy let the sheeps of peace out, let them graze around (x3)

Set them out to see me, oh be me, so peacefully

Daddy, set your old face smiling, set it smiling now (x2)

Smile and smile and smile and smile

Cause that's all I ever wanted to see is when you're smiling and you're chuckling at me

Daddy get angry angry angry angry angry do (x3)

Cause that's all I know of you, when you go, when you're going...

Mummy, mummy, where's mummy, where's mummy, where's mummy

Mummy's in the garden, wearing her best clothes (x2)

Mummy's in the garden, wearing her pretty best clothes

Mummy mummy mummy, isn't daddy funny

Let's hide away till he finds, till he finds a way, till he finds a way

Mummy (Kevin Coyne - 1976) (IN LIVING BLACK AND WHITE)

Daddy let the dogs of war out, let them bite me now (x3)

Set them out to chew, oh to chew, all my boots and shoes

Daddy let the sheeps of peace out, let them graze around (x3)

Set them out to see me, oh be me, so peacefully

Daddy get angry angry angry angry angry do

Daddy get angry angry angry angry angrywith me do (x2)

Mummy mummy mummy, isn't daddy funny, let's hide away

Daddy and Mummy, they're holding at each other's hand

Mummy says to Daddy 'Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy please understand

Don't stamp on the baby's head (x3)

Stamping on the baby's head'

Dead dead baby's dead dead dead baby's dead

Still alive but really dead

Now now she's dead now now dead now now dead now now dead

Mummy's in the garden sipping at the whisky

Mummy's a nasty lady never very frisky

Mummy Mummy Mummy say you miss me

Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy isn't my Daddy funny

Let's hide away

I'm sorry say I'm sorry

I'm always sorry (x4)

Mummy Mummy Mummy Mummy


My Little Angel (Wily Wagner/Ralf Gustke/Tom Liwa/Ali Neander/Kevin Coyne - 1996) (KNOCKING ON YOUR BRAIN)

I saw you last night, down by the powder room, looking so lovely, smelt your perfume

I went to you, said 'Honey, can we dance, little angel, little angel, little angel

You turned away with a nasty sneer, was it because I'd drunk too much wine and beer

Did my breath smell, did I stink? Ah, my little angel, little angel, little angel

Broken hearted, I drove back home, my head spinning, lost and alone

I started to cry, those lonesome tears, I'd lost your love, there were noises in my ears

I went to my flat, I played the gramophone and then I proceeded to get quietly stoned

No more to see you, my perfect love, my little angel, little angel, little angel


My Message to the People (Kevin Coyne - 1972) (CASE HISTORY)

Oh we're high, out on a highway

Driving, rushing down a sweaty road

Past those suburban drinking bars

Searching for, searching for my white and celluloid star

And my message to the people

Is don't tie me to your steeple

Don't put me in the stocks in your market square

Hey, hey you nameless dropper of nameless names

Don't you know I'm going to get the fame

Going to get the flame

A day pencilled in for me

I'll get the glee

I'll arrive at me

Can't you see I'm going to be there?

Oh yeah when the chimes ring out

And my message to the people

Don't tie me to your sacred steeple

Don't you put me in the stocks in your market square

So it's hey razzle-dazzle

I'm about to dazzle

I'm about to frazzle somewhere

And when you say "Who? Who is he?"

You know it's gonna be me

Cause my face is there for all of you to see every day

Upside inside out every way

And when they say "Ooh la la" at the party on the hill

I'll still get a thrill

Even though that castle's tumbling down

I won't wear a frown

'Cos I waited so long

And my message to the people

Is don't you tie me to your steeple

Don't you put me in your stocks in your market square

Oh Razzmatazz

Yes pick up that glass

Oh the funky-livin' life, the life, the strife of jazz

So watch out people

Here I'm coming, here I'm running

My gold leaden boots on my feet

I'm in your stairway, your airway to the stars

So I don't mind though you pretend to be blind

Maybe tomorrow you will alleviate my sorrow

Eh eh watch me now as into the tangle I go

And my message to the people

Is I love you all you people

And I'll find my own stocks

And I'm digging my own market square

Hey dance on your mother's grave

Hey you know I'm a media, I'm a media slave

Your Beatle-cuttin', sure-fottin' savin' rave

And my message to the people

Is that people will be people

That people will be people

Just the same


My Mind's Joined Forces (Kevin Coyne - 1979) (BABBLE)

I said I'm so happy

There's a smile on my face

Well, I'm so happy

Loving you in this place

Well I feel like a princess

I'm so happy and gay

I've just changed my hairdo

Oh what a happy day

Chorus: My mind's joined forces with you (x2)

Well, I'm so happy

You can strike up the band

Tell everyone I'm so happy

Cos you're my man

We've got some big plans

We've got some places to go

I'm so happy and I think you know I know

Chorus

Check out the whole world

Tell them what it's about

They can hear the whisper now, soon they'll hear a scream and a shout

We've got our marching orders and we are ready to go

So turn up the headlights and down the road we go

Chorus

And I love you so, I love you so

Joining forces with you (x2)

We know what we do, I love you so


My Pretty Girl From Giessen (Kevin Coyne - 2001) (GIESSEN)

Our love was here in Giessen

??

Every Sunday morning

She's got a smile upon her face

My pretty girl from Giessen

Sweet as can be

She always scrub my back on Friday

That little girl of me


My Story (Robert Coyne/Kevin Coyne - 2002) (CARNIVAL)

I get hot, I get cold, I get hot, very cold, I get hot, fall down, when I see you running around

I got to ring you, I got to ring you, I hope you answer, hope you answer when I call, when I call, I'll be calling, I'll be calling you

We can take a roll, stroll down by the river, tell you my history, my story

Don' t tell your mother, don't tell your father, don't tell mama, don't tell papa, don't tell 'em a thing, don't give 'em a clue, don't tell 'em a thing, what I'm planning to do

Saturday night, maybe Friday night, the whole weekend, spend with you, spend with you, little you

We take a roll, stroll down by the river and I could tell you my, all my history, my story, you might like it, alright

Yes, I'm a sailor, from the sea, little sailor, way from the deep sea, cross the ocean, far away, I've never been round to your place

You know I like it, I must like it, I know I 'll love it, sitting in your living room, in that room, in that cosy room

Make sure the house is empty, make sure there's no-one in, we will stroll, down by the river and I'll tell you my history, my story, my story, you got to hear my story, I wanna tell you my story, oh my story, such a story, my history, my story, my story


My Wife's Best Friend (Robert Coyne/Kevin Coyne - 1999) (SUGAR CANDY TAXI )

My wife's best friend, she really loves to ball

My wife's best friend, she really loves to do the rock'n'roll

She can hully hully gully like nobody, like nobody I know

She dances out in the garden most nights without any clothes

My wife's best friend, she really turns me on, turns me on

I get kinda hot when she knocks on the door

Oh baby you're the one

My wife's best friend, she's my secret love

My wife's best friend, she's really my secret love

She talks to me sweet on the telephone like a turtle dove (x2)

Oh talk to me sweet, talk to me, oh sweetheart

My wife's best friend, she's coming round tonight (x2)

We're going to dance in the living room, I'll hold her tight

Hope my wife stays out of the house, I hope it tonight, I hope it tonight

Come on, all fade on

I hop my wife stays away, I hope she stays away tonight


My Wife Says (Kevin Coyne - 1980) (SANITY STOMP)

Give us a kiss (repeat)

My wife tells me I've found a sea

The waves they're inside of me

How can you explain love when it arrives

It's not a bucket you fill from nine to five

The great modus-operandi is to do with heavens

You don't count numbers to get there

My wife tells me I'm stupid

God knows rightly so

Don't you feel the afterglow of birth

When reborn in shouldersÕ eagle (?) (note: IÕve heard of EagleÕs shoulders but this is plain odd)

Franz Kafka kicking godless doors

Sigmund Freund riding on the floor

Avant-garde hasn't got a clue

But it's really up to me and you

It's not to do with the Beatles

Or even the Rolling Stones

The big man is out there on his own

My wife tells me I'm crazy

The next minute she says she loves me

I can't imagine a better state

Than being a reprobate


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